Thursday, August 16, 2007

facebook, and a walk down memory lane

I was up till 1:00 am looking at old year books and remembering old times. Facebook made me do it, I dug out my old journals- yes I've kept them all except the ones I had hidden in that basement suite and forgot when I moved.
Boy was I an emotional mess when it came to men. The sad thing is I see some similarities to my youthful relationships and the one I most recently was involved in. The good thing is all those times I thought I loved someone I was wrong- except for Keith who was the one love of my life- the others I don't feel for at all anymore. I had forgotten all that longing and turmoil that seemed so excruciating at the time. Silly girl. The good thing I learned was this too will seem silly in a short time. I regressed into my youth in that relationship. Not a place I want to be revisiting.
On the other hand we had a lot of fun in those good old days. Party's like crazy. I remember getting high with Stevie and laughing my ass off. Tears running down my face. Till my mother called. She always did. He was a good friend. I fucked that friendship up.
But the past is just that- past. As fun as it is to walk down memory lane it is also gone. i can reconnect with old friends here and for that facebook is a blessing but you can't go back.
Posted by Peggie :: 7:14 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

That old kitchen table

I used to have a whole posse of friends in the "good old days".
Guy's , Girls, couples, singles. It was just a big group of people you hung out with.

Guy's hang on to that. They keep their buddy's. They have poker nights and play sports together. They watch hockey night in Canada and take fishing trips. Women don't do that as much, we should, we don't. Life gets overwhelming for us between work, home and kids. Too much responsibility and not enough fun. And running the kids to soccer practice, dance class and to yet another school function is not fun! Eventually we lose those connections with the people we are close to. Sure we have friends or people with common interests that we do some things with, but the -all for fun- hanging out- just cause we like to- fades away. I miss Thursday nights at my crappy dining set in my messy kitchen with my girlfriends who didn't give a shit if my kitchen was messy or my table old. What they cared about was me, and I them. I miss those days even though I never pick up the phone and call anyone (phone phobia-job induced)
Come to think of it we never really called each other then. We just gathered. The girls at my house almost every night of the week and hooking up with the guys on weekends.
We knew where to go to see the people we wanted to see. Where to find our friends, where the after bar parties were and how much we had to pay old man Jackson for after hours, bootlegged beer. I miss dancing till dawn and flirting with boys and laughing with my friends over stupid stuff. I miss heart to heart talks and card games and just watching TV together. Maybe just a little I miss my home town. I've moved a lot over the years and that really doesn't leave space and time to build relationships. It takes more effort to keep relationships from a distance and I might be too lazy. I think though I miss the most hanging out with guy friends. Not having to talk about our deep dark secrets and private thoughts. Women are so much more needy when it comes to emotions. Guys play with each other. They tease and mock and do stuff. They don't require you to give too much or suck your energy with their problems. They just are. I miss that. The balance of men and women friends. Those who are there for you when you need them emotionally and those that are there to recharge your batteries when you have given too much to someone else.
I love hanging out with my brother for that very reason. We can talk about the serious stuff but it is always balanced with the silly, stupid fun stuff.
The older you get the less you worry about having fun and the more you worry about how you measure up. That old kitchen table in that messy kitchen would never do for a social event now.
Now we must have clean houses. Decorated to the nines and the latest and greatest furniture. If you don't....well you will always feel inadequate.
I got rid of that table and got a beautiful pub style dining table in dark espresso wood that will seat 12. I never use it. It will never have the fun the old one did. And that is just sad.
Posted by Peggie :: 1:45 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, August 11, 2007

Rebound journal (re post from june 2007)

I found this cute little book at chapters. I bought 4. I may buy more so I have them on hand for all my girlfriends. For now though I bought my own , one for my sister, one for my friend and another for a friend who I wish would get rid of the monkey on her back.
It is the funniest little book and will be a huge source of blog postings for the next little while.
So I begin at the beginning with the quiz.

The quiz is cute because I can pick from a list of unflattering names to use while answering.

1. When you asked the jerkwad a question during a televised sporting event, he would usually:

a. grab the remote and turn up the volume
b. answer a totally unrelated question
c. tell you to keep it down while he adjusted himself a la Al Bundy
d. ask you to fetch him a chicken pot pie

I'd have to go with a or c. We were long distance so he wouldn't talk to me during a show he wanted to watch.
I'd say A and over time he would have progressed to C...even D

2. On your birthday, the rat bastard would most likely:

a. come down with a bad case of amnesia ( I've met this guy, he dated my friend) (jerk)
b. buy you an action figure that he secretly wanted
c. present you with flame retardant lingerie
d. take you to an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie

None of the above but I'll add my own,
e. Take you out and make you pick out your own present with a limit of 50.00 cause he was broke after going out the day before and buying himself 200.00 worth of clothes.

3. The loser's idea of fine dining:
a. the junk food aisle at the grocery store
b. local greasy spoon
c. his mom's house
d. TV dinner

My own addition
e. red lobster where he never took you anyway just said he would like it was some sort of exclusive 5 star restaurant.

Or c. loser

4. The sorry excuse for a human being was most likely to read:
a. the back of the cocoa puffs box
b. box scores
c. porn
d. a restraining order

This one is easy. Porn. Did I ever tell you about the time he picked me up at the airport and when I opened the door to his truck a porn mag fell out....yeah ...nice. ......
5. The walking Bob's idea of romance would usually include:
a. a trip to the bowling alley
b. a trip to the liquor store
c. allowing you to wear his favorite player's jersey as a night shirt
d. three minutes of fumbling foreplay before passing out

Romance????????

6. When it came to paying for dinner, Jobless mooch would:
a. retire to the bathroom for a long time
b. Forget his wallet
c. try to revive a quaint European custom called " Dutch Treat"
d. pay, expecting sexual favors in return

I'd have to go with C always C but then I had a job.....Loser

7.After arriving at the romantic bed and breakfast you booked the sorry excuse for a Y chromasome's first question was:
a. "Where are they hiding the TV?"
b. "7 am tee time ok?"
c. "Crap you aren't going to propose are you?"
d. "Do you really expect me to get it up under that canopy?"

We never went anywhere so I will have to guess A.... god forbid he should miss Hero's

8. The thing that horrified you most about spending the night at -----------'s place was:
a. his lewd, crude roommate who farted at you for fun (nope that was what horrified me about staying at my sisters)
b. sheets that could get up and walk by themselves
c. the solitary bottle of crusty psoriasis shampoo in the shower
d one single terrible word: refrigerator

Gonna have to add my own again
e. Waking up in the morning and sharing a pot of coffee with his Mom.........what the fuck was I thinking!

9. Disturbing qualities of _____________'s closest friends include:
a. inappropriate touching of one another, particularly below the waist
b. constant references to his previous girlfriends ("remember how much fun we had with her?")
c. Juvenile in jokes meant to exclude you, complete with belly-bumping and high fiving
d. how the called to "console" you with in hours of the break up

As my brother is one of his closest friends I will opt out of this one. And I like his friends...more than I like him really.

10. While being generous enough to sleep with the mommas boy, you endured the following freakish behavior:
a. his requirement that Van Halen's "Jump" be playing during foreplay, with you acting as air guitar
b. having to intimate a sports center commentator doing a play by play in order to put him in the mood ("And now, the bra's coming off!! He's going to score! Booh YAH!")
c. talking about his penis in the third person, complete with little voices
d. his tendency to shout out either "Farrah" or "Oh J-Lo" during climax

Sex was good and not weird so none of the above; but I'm thinking maybe he would have escalated to b. Maybe he'd still be around.
Of course while answering the other questions I realize the whole relationship can be written off to temporary insanity....What the fuck was I thinking.


The results

Ready to calculate? Big surprise, no matter what answer you selected for each question, your ex adds up to a big fat zero. The good news:
If your reading this book, you've already passed your most difficult test with flying colors. There's no doubt you will be scoring high marks ( and just scoring, if you know what we mean) very soon. So turn the page and get to it! You've got things to do, places to go, and new boys to kiss. WoooHooo!

And so the jouney begin's. Join me on the road to rebound! It looks like it's going to be fun....and cleansing!
Posted by Peggie :: 11:17 AM :: 0 Comments:

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---------------oOo--------------- The future awaits (re post)



It seems like yesterday that I spent the day crying because it was my oldest son, Dustin's first day of grade twelve. I spent the last eight months getting ready to let go. Planning a graduation he would hopefully never forget.
Not that he wanted to participate.
Honestly I was planning a graduation I would never forget and Dustin was dragged, kicking and screaming along for the ride.
He is such a guy when it comes to things like this.
It was me who went shopping with Dustin's grad date for the lovely corsages. It was me who picked out his shoes and the gifts for his dates. (yes he had two) It was me who planned parties and ordered tickets and called organizers. I was exhausted and I can tell you that I am sorry for the girl he eventually marries because she will do it all and his standard response to all planning questions will be "I don't care".

It was so worth it.
Every minute on the phone, every second spent planning. Every dollar of the untold dollars spent.
It was worth it the minute I sat down, an hour early, to watch the commencement ceremonies with my mom and dad and my brother and sister-in law. It was worth it when Brandy(said sister-in-law) pulled a box of Kleenex out of her purse and handed them out to catch the tears of pride that fell from our eyes. It was worth it when I watched my dad stand for hours as each of the 200 hundred and some odd graduates paraded past, just to make sure he got a good picture of his grandson. It was worth it when my son came to me on Monday, gave me a great big hug and said "thanks for the weekend mom."
It was so worth it.


*above * Nana, Dustin, and Papa after grand march. Dustin, just before the mother son dance.
Posted by Peggie :: 7:50 AM :: 0 Comments:

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Wednesday, August 8, 2007

The battle of a life time

So I did it, I joined W.W, by December I should be one hot Mom. That is the plan. So I am hungry.
Today I drove by Starbucks and wanted an orange creme frapicchino. I love those so much. But I just said no and took another swig of my bottled water. Did it do the trick. No. I am still proud of myself, I hardly ever tell me no. I have spoiled myself rotten and must be denied any and all things bad for me...well almost I mean a girl has to have some bad things in life just to keep it interesting. Like bad boys....I can't give that up. I love bad boys and they make life so much fun. I'll keep those. And maybe bad TV. When you are running short of bad boys bad TV, like BB8, is a good replacement.
I Will give up candy though....yes I absolutely will give up candy.
Posted by Peggie :: 6:29 PM :: 0 Comments:

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Thursday, August 2, 2007

Creepy Canadian wildlife (repost)


This is the Asian long horn beetle. Don't let this picture fool you these bugs are huge and the antennae are VERY long.
Not only are they huge but they are not afraid of you. The bouncing up and down, shaking your arms and screeching tactic that works to scare most bugs away does not work on this bug it just stays attached to you and does not move until you knock it off your person with force.
I don't like that.
My first experience with this horrid beetle was a couple of years ago while camping outside of Revelstoke. What should have been a lovely camping trip enjoying the scenery and the quiet mountains sounds turned into a paranoid freak fest after I had been introduced to this vicious creature. For some unknown reason these bugs are attracted to me and so I spent most of my time swatting them away dancing about like a crazy woman and keeping paranoid watch for the next invasion. Luckily I didn't encounter another one for a long time ....Until this summer.
First I found a dead one on my deck. I was glad it was dead but not glad to know that they had made their way to my home. That they now lurk near by waiting for me to be in a relaxed state on my deck so they can attack and startle me into the dance that they seem to enjoy so much.
The web site says they pose no risk to humans.
I beg to differ.
Yesterday on our way home from visiting my parents my son David and I stopped at a road side rest stop to stretch our legs and shovel out the road trip garbage that had accumulated on the floor of our car.
Ever vigilant I saw it approach and land on the pavement some ten feet away.
I watched, horror filled me as it took flight and bore down on me. Knowing it's intent I ran. Fast. It flew after me chasing me in circles around my car. It chased me around the car three times never wavering from it's destination. Me!
Finally I saw an opportunity and dove into my car slamming the door behind me. We quickly drove away the sound of David's hysterical laughter in my ear for the next five kilometers.
We didn't stop again till we got home.
I have since beat two of them to death on my porch and I'm afraid to go out there. I think the rest of the summer will be spent indoors!
Posted by Peggie :: 9:38 PM :: 0 Comments:

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