Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Regression




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Sunday, July 22, 2007

My kids are idiots




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Saturday, July 21, 2007

Stupid girls

I have this friend...really it's not me. She is in a very dysfunctional relationship. I base this on several factors. One of the most important being if you have to go to counselling in the first month of your relationship then something is wrong. Seriously wrong.
What drives me nuts is she is a very smart woman. She should know better. This man is needy, clingy, possessive and jealous to the point of insanity. His work ethics are questionable and his social intelligence is nonexistent. Over the past 6 or 8 months I have seen this strong, smart independent woman go from a woman who says "sure lets do that!" to "Oooh boy wouldn't that piss him off". In fact next weekend she is actually going to pick a fight with him so she can go to the pub with me and not have to tell him.
She is 52 yrs old.
I like to think I 'm smarter than that. That my life experiences have set me up so I would see those red flag behaviours and go running in the opposite direction. However my latest foray into the dating world shows that I am no smarter than my friend. No I will NEVER date a jealous possessive man again.
Ever.
I know where that ends up and it is just too painful a place. I don't just mean mentally. However my last venture into the dating game was 14 years younger than me. Now I would have to say it would have been mighty stupid of me to expect anything from that. It turns out that I'm just as stupid as the next girl. I knew better. I should have left it as the one night stand it was meant to be. But I too dip my toe into the stupid girl pond from time to time. It was fun while it lasted though.
The thing is my friend tells me that she is three times more likely to be struck by lightening at 52 than she is likely to find a life mate. So perhaps it is her fear ruling her choice to stay with this unstable man. Perhaps it is my fear of a lifetime that got me into this thing with the younger man.
I really don't care if I find a life mate. I'm not afraid to live alone. I don't spend my nights wishing for a soul mate. Most married people I know thought they had found it and are not particularly happy with their choice.
I've never met a man I could see spending my life with. That's a hell of a long time.
Don't get me wrong I love men, they just don't make very good boyfriends.

So what's a girl with commitment issues to do? Dating gets harder the older you are and I am getting older much to my dismay.

Is there such a thing as a man you can do things with, hang out with, have rocking sex with, laugh your ass off with and not have it mean that you have to change your whole life and who you are?
And is there such thing as a woman who wants all those things and doesn't get too emotionally involved? I used to think I was it but Cory proved me wrong.
I am so much more grounded when I am single.
Probably best I stay that way.
Fear based? Likely
Posted by Peggie :: 7:02 PM :: 0 Comments:

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---------------oOo--------------- My Ass- subtiltle exercise pain- re post

About a month ago I bought a bike. It's a beautiful, shiny red bike. It has big thick tires and front suspension, quick release tires and 21 one wonderfully easy to change gears. Built for comfort.

Yesterday the weather finally cleared enough for me to ride my bike for the first time. I bought my bike so I could ride it to work. I figured I had to do something after a full winter of sitting on my ass, eating bon bons and watching TV. Biking to work would be the perfect solution.
In a town full of the most wicked hills known to man I am fortunate to have a fairly flat route to work....so I thought.
It turns out that spending the winter...ok several winters and summers, sitting on your ass watching TV and eating bon bons is not the best training plan for bike riding.
But I digress.
Yesterday I woke up to the sound of birds singing and the much missed sun shining through my window.
Today is the day , I thought . Today I will ride my bike to work.
I set about my morning routine of coffee, shower and so on. Adding in some water consummation to ensure good hydration for my ride. I packed up my back pack with necessities and work clothes. Donned my shiny silver helmet and grabbed my bike lock.
Helmet and pack on, lock in hand I made my way to the shed where my pretty bike had been housed for the last month. I tripped over the lawn mower. Moved a big box of heavy stuff out of the way and proceeded to release my new ride from it's winter prison.
I walked it through the yard and up the steps to the porch. Then down the steps to the front door, which after many flights down would take me and my new baby to the flat street that we would take the few blocks to my office. Life was good. The sun shone down on us. Encouraging us to become one. Woman and bike together against the wind.
On the way down the stairs I banged my baby into the wall, became tangled in the empty 5 gallon water bottles waiting for the nice water guy to take them away and slipped on a piece of dryer lint slamming my shin into the peddle of my bike. In return my much loved bicycle hurled me down the stairs at an alarming rate making my heart thud rapidly in fear that I would die with out having left the porch.
At the bottom of the stairs we made up again and managed to make it all the way to the street with out incident.
I threw my leg over my bike and began to pedal. The wind was in my hair-well not all my hair- I was wearing my helmet which tends to get in the way of the wind through your hair feeling that made childhood bike riding so much fun.
The wind blew the sides of my hair. I picked up speed thanks to a small downward facing hill. It was exhilarating. Until I got to the bottom of the gentle slope. As we all know, what goes down must go up in the high paced world of bike riding. It was ok though, its just a little hill and I have these nifty one touch shifters. I played with the shifters.
Since this was the first time I had been on my bike I didn't really know how the gears worked. I ended up in low gear. It made the gentle slope feel like a mountain. I tried to gear up but by the time I figured it out I was peddling down hill at an alarming rate. In fact it felt as if I was not in gear at all. I looked down to make sure the chain hadn't fallen of.
It hadn't.
I got it back to a respectable gear just in time to hit an up hill slope. Sweat was pouring down my back and I was only a block from my house. Finally after many tortuously sloping hills I made to the flat heaven that is Baker street.
Two blocks down only three to go.
I was blessed with green lights all the way. Finally I got to the corner where I would turn to go to my office. I looked at the steep hill up to the parking garage and decided to ride 1 block farther and take the less challenging alley to the garage entrance. It was down hill right to the end so I had enough momentum to make it to the entrance. But some employee was in the garage so I had to keep riding up the slope that led to the bicycle cage. Couldn't let him think I was out of shape.
Like he couldn't tell from my wide ass hanging over the sides of my bicycle seat and all the sweat pouring down my red face!

Finally I made it to the top. Almost. So I stopped my wretched bike and swung my leg over to the ground, at which point both legs buckled. Not all the way. I didn't fall, but it was obvious to anyone watching that I had pushed myself to my physical limit.
I walked my bike to the bike cage and locked it up. My heavy breathing echoed against the concrete walls of the parking garage. I sat down to rest before taking the six stairs up to the door of my office. My hand shook as I tried to find the right key. Finally I made it through the door, down the hall and collapsed in complete exhaustion into my chair. Two hours later I was finally breathing properly and my face no longer looked like I had just run the Boston marathon in 3 hours and 10 minutes.
I was still alive.
Of course I still had to ride the damn thing home.
That, my friends, is tomorrows story!
Posted by Peggie :: 4:10 PM :: 0 Comments:

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---------------oOo--------------- My Ass part two

It's the end of the work day.
I consider walking home and leaving my red and silver torture device at work to rot for all eternity.
No my legs don't hurt.
My breathing has returned to a normal pace. I'm not really tired but I don't want to get on that ungodly contraption.
Being the "should-er" I am I talked myself into riding home.
I get changed out of my work clothes and into my riding clothes. I take the steps down to the parking garage. Un lock my bike and swing my leg over. As soon as my butt hits the seat I know this ride will not be comfortable. Not that the ride in was comfortable but my butt is screaming "NO DON'T PUT MY WIDE SELF ON THAT LITTLE TINY SEAT! PLEASE GOD NOOOOooooo."
I ignore my butt and begin to pedal home. The ride home is much easier ...Except for my screaming butt.
I thankfully hit every stop light which allows me to remove my butt from the seat for at least 10 seconds every light. When I come to the end of Baker street and all socially acceptable reasons to stop every block to remove my butt from the seat I begin talking to my butt. "It's only another couple of blocks" I say to my butt. "We made it this far we can make it to the end."
My butt is screaming "NO WE CAN'T. NOOOOOOOOooooo."
I stop, remembering my bottled water and suddenly feeling so thirsty that I must stop and have a drink. Another five seconds of relief.
I make it home in record time. Happy for every down hill coast which allows me to raise my butt off the seat for even a few seconds.
I reach the stairs declaring to my bike and my butt triumphantly that we made it, we are home!
The worst is over. My chair and my TV await at the top of the stairs.
I haul my bike up. Lock it against the rail and make my way up to my door.
I'm so happy to see my chair that tears sting my eyes. Yes I am home, no more pain for me. Just rest and relaxation.
Then I sit down.

My butt connects with the chair and screams out in shock. I scream along with it. What is going on? Why is there still pain? I am no longer on that red piece of crap. I am home on my familiar chair. The chair that has housed my butt for many a winter..and summer. What the hell is going on?
After two days of sitting on my pillow I am ready to try again.
Tomorrow I will ride my pretty red bike to work.
Just don't tell my butt, it will try to talk me out of it.
Posted by Peggie :: 4:09 PM :: 0 Comments:

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---------------oOo--------------- The begining

Of yet another bolg
Posted by Peggie :: 3:52 PM :: 0 Comments:

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