Saturday, July 21, 2007

Stupid girls

I have this friend...really it's not me. She is in a very dysfunctional relationship. I base this on several factors. One of the most important being if you have to go to counselling in the first month of your relationship then something is wrong. Seriously wrong.
What drives me nuts is she is a very smart woman. She should know better. This man is needy, clingy, possessive and jealous to the point of insanity. His work ethics are questionable and his social intelligence is nonexistent. Over the past 6 or 8 months I have seen this strong, smart independent woman go from a woman who says "sure lets do that!" to "Oooh boy wouldn't that piss him off". In fact next weekend she is actually going to pick a fight with him so she can go to the pub with me and not have to tell him.
She is 52 yrs old.
I like to think I 'm smarter than that. That my life experiences have set me up so I would see those red flag behaviours and go running in the opposite direction. However my latest foray into the dating world shows that I am no smarter than my friend. No I will NEVER date a jealous possessive man again.
Ever.
I know where that ends up and it is just too painful a place. I don't just mean mentally. However my last venture into the dating game was 14 years younger than me. Now I would have to say it would have been mighty stupid of me to expect anything from that. It turns out that I'm just as stupid as the next girl. I knew better. I should have left it as the one night stand it was meant to be. But I too dip my toe into the stupid girl pond from time to time. It was fun while it lasted though.
The thing is my friend tells me that she is three times more likely to be struck by lightening at 52 than she is likely to find a life mate. So perhaps it is her fear ruling her choice to stay with this unstable man. Perhaps it is my fear of a lifetime that got me into this thing with the younger man.
I really don't care if I find a life mate. I'm not afraid to live alone. I don't spend my nights wishing for a soul mate. Most married people I know thought they had found it and are not particularly happy with their choice.
I've never met a man I could see spending my life with. That's a hell of a long time.
Don't get me wrong I love men, they just don't make very good boyfriends.

So what's a girl with commitment issues to do? Dating gets harder the older you are and I am getting older much to my dismay.

Is there such a thing as a man you can do things with, hang out with, have rocking sex with, laugh your ass off with and not have it mean that you have to change your whole life and who you are?
And is there such thing as a woman who wants all those things and doesn't get too emotionally involved? I used to think I was it but Cory proved me wrong.
I am so much more grounded when I am single.
Probably best I stay that way.
Fear based? Likely
Posted by Peggie :: 7:02 PM :: 0 Comments:

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