Wednesday, August 15, 2007

That old kitchen table

I used to have a whole posse of friends in the "good old days".
Guy's , Girls, couples, singles. It was just a big group of people you hung out with.

Guy's hang on to that. They keep their buddy's. They have poker nights and play sports together. They watch hockey night in Canada and take fishing trips. Women don't do that as much, we should, we don't. Life gets overwhelming for us between work, home and kids. Too much responsibility and not enough fun. And running the kids to soccer practice, dance class and to yet another school function is not fun! Eventually we lose those connections with the people we are close to. Sure we have friends or people with common interests that we do some things with, but the -all for fun- hanging out- just cause we like to- fades away. I miss Thursday nights at my crappy dining set in my messy kitchen with my girlfriends who didn't give a shit if my kitchen was messy or my table old. What they cared about was me, and I them. I miss those days even though I never pick up the phone and call anyone (phone phobia-job induced)
Come to think of it we never really called each other then. We just gathered. The girls at my house almost every night of the week and hooking up with the guys on weekends.
We knew where to go to see the people we wanted to see. Where to find our friends, where the after bar parties were and how much we had to pay old man Jackson for after hours, bootlegged beer. I miss dancing till dawn and flirting with boys and laughing with my friends over stupid stuff. I miss heart to heart talks and card games and just watching TV together. Maybe just a little I miss my home town. I've moved a lot over the years and that really doesn't leave space and time to build relationships. It takes more effort to keep relationships from a distance and I might be too lazy. I think though I miss the most hanging out with guy friends. Not having to talk about our deep dark secrets and private thoughts. Women are so much more needy when it comes to emotions. Guys play with each other. They tease and mock and do stuff. They don't require you to give too much or suck your energy with their problems. They just are. I miss that. The balance of men and women friends. Those who are there for you when you need them emotionally and those that are there to recharge your batteries when you have given too much to someone else.
I love hanging out with my brother for that very reason. We can talk about the serious stuff but it is always balanced with the silly, stupid fun stuff.
The older you get the less you worry about having fun and the more you worry about how you measure up. That old kitchen table in that messy kitchen would never do for a social event now.
Now we must have clean houses. Decorated to the nines and the latest and greatest furniture. If you don't....well you will always feel inadequate.
I got rid of that table and got a beautiful pub style dining table in dark espresso wood that will seat 12. I never use it. It will never have the fun the old one did. And that is just sad.
Posted by Peggie :: 1:45 PM :: 0 Comments:

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